Maybe it bothers me so much because it it true and hearing it hits a nerve that I pretend doesn’t exist. Maybe. My son called me an idiot recently and it got to me. He was being rude and attacking me when I clearly just bought him those damn bear fruit roll ups just the other day. The nerve. My real response is no response. At least not at first. I have been thinking a lot about where bad language or outburst start. Additionally, what role I can play in not making them something that they are not and somehow get back to a place of connection with my kid instead of using the same techniques on him that he used on me. I’ll show him.

Try this: Curiousity it a super power we all need as parents. Why did you throw that? Why did you hit him? Where are your shoes? But even more we need to learn to ask better questions than “How was your day?” and “Are you ok?” They need us to dig deeper and break some patterns of stale parental inquiry.

What was the most exciting part of your day?

If you could change one thing about school what would it be?

Just mix up your line of questioning and try to find an interest to follow in the answers. Sometimes kid need a snack or a minute before we barrage them with questions. You know your kid best so do what works but keep being interested. Kids love to tell you about what they did or what went wrong but sometimes we just have to work a little to get there.

Take away: Kids have a limited skill set on how to deal with frustration and anger. Taking something that was frustrating at school out on you is pretty normal. Get in the habit of asking a lot of questions around how they got to that point and don’t feel like you need to do it right now. Take a step back, breath and then find a calmer time to connect.

Cook This: Naan Pizza

I hate pizza. Not really but man I am sick of it. This is a real lesson in parenting and understanding it is not about what you want. That shit is over. So though I hate it, I don’t ban it but instead I try to get my kids to make it for themselves in some capacity. Enter Naan Pizza. The bread is done, give them the sauce, the cheese, the pepperoni, and whatever else your kids like. Lay it out and turn them loose. This recipe is done in 15 minutes and is an easy way to make kids feel like they can cook something they like for themselves.

Find a subscription that you and your kids can share and enjoy once a month. Kids love to get mail and this is something that you can explore together. The goal is find a point of connection and to get intersted in what your kids are interested in.

Try this: Sports Illustrated for kids, National Geographic for kids, the Week Junior and Ranger Rick are great option to order as a present for a birthday or as your point of connection. If you’re not sure check out the options at the library first.

Maybe this is something you already do all the time, maybe not. Reading aloud does a lot of the things you want to be doing anyway. First you are together with your kids. Second you are reading and modeling someone who enjoys to read. Third, (if you let it) is having genuine fun. Do a voice, make a face, take a long pause, whatever. Reading out loud is something I promise your kids will ask for again and again but it is up to you dad to pick a fun one to start and put your weight behind it.

Check this out: Read Aloud recommentations here

This newsletter is not professional in nature but intended to be real things to try. They won’t all work but this is a process and I’d love for you to join me on the way. Thanks for reading and we hope to see you next week.

Send me a note or your best dad joke @ [email protected]